A, B, and C Rent

A, B and C Rent.....sigh

I'm going to break this blog down into 3 parts that's why it's called A, B and C Rent....B will be the most difficult to write but I need to get some feelings out. Most of my writings are reflections of my work life. This one is not. This is a look back on my dating life. But mainly its for me to express some feelings that people don't understand when I express them. Sometimes you just gotta get shit out...:) So here we go...and thanks again for reading this.

A....Rent 

Rent...the return derived from cultivated or improved land or property. (property in this blog is my heart)

I have been single for a while now. I learned to be happy with it because I know God has a plan. I'm not saying I go through life smiling and happy all the time. I have my moments when I wish I had a boo (usually when I am drinking) but for the most part I am ok. I am a big flirt. I am also the typical girl who loves attention from the opposite sex (should I say typical straight girl) but I don't fawn over every man who says hi to me. I don't fawn over any man who says hi to me. That may be my issue right now. I don't like anyone. I think people are cute and would like to date but there is no one in particular I want to date. I am good being me and focusing on my future. So in conclusion for A....I'm at a happy place when it comes to my relationship status.

B......Rent

This is a reflection of the past. I know A should have been the past instead of the present since C will be the future. But this is my blog and I will write it how I want to :) So here goes B......rent. 

To Rent is to occupy or make use of someone's land or property for a fee. Your heart is your property....so if you let someone occupy it they are renting your heart. Yes, for a fee which should be paid in love but that's not always the case. My heart was occupied at by someone who I moved in. They on the other hand didn't care too much for the arrangement. 

I am usually not one to fall easily especially for anyone in a job or position when they are in the spotlight. But something was different about this guy. He was from Philly and I am a sucker for a home town boy. He was super humble and worked hard for everything he had which wasn't much but he was on his way. We talked for hours and was really getting to know each other. Had a couple of great dates...but things didn't work out. And now he's a super star and married. I know this because the world of social media makes it damn near impossible to escape your past. 

Next sad thing is...I know his wife. Not personally we have friends in common (who come to think of it might read this can put 2 and 2 together so even tho I used no names it could get back to her) My world so who cares. So other than seeing him become super successful, I am also a witness to his beautiful marriage and gorgeous family.

Honestly, I had those why not me moments. I compared myself to her and of course I like me more. But I never really found fault in her. It wasn't my decision to make. It was his and he choose her. And if he didn't would I actually want him or is my asking what ifs just reflections that I am alone and he is happily married now. 

So that brings us to C...rent

Definition is pretty much the same as A.

I'm in a good place. Flipping my property so to say. Making upgrades. And part of my upgrades is to let go of jealousy. It's a perfectly normal feeling to have but I have no reason to be jealous. This is the part people don't understand when I tell them. Most of my friends say they would hate on the afore mentioned relationship. Talk bad about the new wife. Say things like I'm cuter than her, what she got that I don't, she ain't ish. and all that other bs. ME....I say I am happy for them. And I honestly am. I think it's amazing that 2 people found each other and found love in this mess we call Atlanta. They seem genuinely happy from what I hear. He found someone that was everything he needed. So in that aspect I am jealous. Not jealous of her for marrying him. But jealous they found something in each other that I have yet to find in anyone. 

Not someone you want to rent your property but own....

Cheesy I know but it all makes sense to me. 

Peace, Love and Blessings to all 

Alexyz

The Entire World is GAY!!!

Hello to all 5 of my readers and my facebook creepers! Been working a lot lately so I haven't written in a min here.
So here we go...
First CONGRATS to all my gaybes (gay babies) and lesbots (don't ask) for Prop 8 being over turned. Now you can get married in Cali! Invite me to the weddings!

Next: I saw The Kids Are Alright this week. The story of 2 children raised by their lesbian parents. The children seek out the sperm donor and they all build a very unrealistic relationship with him. I say unrealistic because I am the child of a lesbian and the whole betrayal would not happen. Hollywood..ugh

And last: The entire world is gay! Well, maybe not the entire world but my world certainly is. I do work in the entertainment industry so it is understandable that 78% of the men I work with are gay. But as of lately 97% of the men love men. I am by no means complaining...per say. I heart all my gaybes.  I just want to meet a damn straight man.

Many of my female friends actually date men who look and or act gay. One friend actually prefers bi sexual men. I could never ever ever ever date a man who likes men. I think it's the whole down low brother thing in the black community and the fact the the highest number in new HIV/AIDS cases are among african american women...mainly because their men are off having unprotected sex with other men. I like my men to be men and my gays to be gay. No mixing. (Plus I think bisexuality is just being greedy, unless your Anna Paquin or Scarlett Johansson then its hott)

So here's the thing...I spend my days and sometimes nights on set with my gaybes...then when we wrap I spend more time with them or other gays and I have a blast. I can be my silly self with them. And as much as I say I want to hang around straight men....I never do. I am a huge contradiction. I am kinda over straight men. They are such cocky douchebags. But then again I miss them. I miss actually flirting with someone who wants to do me...flirting with gays is fun but at the end of the night I am home alone with no one to make out with.
So maybe I am becoming like my other female friends, maybe I need to find me a metro sexual man who is just as fun as my gaybes but wants to bang me.

That would never work for me though. I am such a ball buster I would end up making the guy cry. (plus I am not a big fan of men in scarves and we all know metros love the scarf) I make my sensitive female friends say I'm mean. (which I am not I just try to make people stronger the world is a tough place) The man I need doesn't exist. I need a fun, gay spirited, mans man, who loves art, history, theater, and sports and can cook. Who doesn't care what I do for a living...meaning he is not at all star struck by the people I work with or that I hang out with. But he does support everything I do and pushes me to do more. And above all has a deep profound love for God and all his wonders but is not judgemental. I don't think that's too much to ask for.

Is it?

I'll just have fun and enjoy life until God sees fit to bring me the man of my dreams (Nick Jonas or Trevino) until then my entire world is GAY!!

NO LONGER POOR!!

No, I didn't win the lottery or land that dream role that pays me millions and shoots me into the world of super stardom. I just dont want anything negative in my life. So, even if my financial situation may not have me driving a benz, beemer or a bently, I am happy. And that is all that matters!! So I changed the tittle of my blog. Took out the poor...added the young. Which I am!!! Or at least I play young on tv.

I find that I am a lot more positive lately. Even in hard times (like the last blog). Recently, I have mad changes in my life. I let some very harmful friendships go. Which was hard to do because I was attached to these people for years. I changed a lot of my habits. I stopped going to clubs. I completely cut out any activity that involves groupies in Atlanta....which means I don't leave my house. It is Atlanta, going to Kroger can become a groupie activity.

All this being said...I am happier. I feel better about myself because I am no longer in a world where I have to compete for attention. Well, that's not true I am an actress. To re-phrase I no longer compete for negative attention. I am still in a world where looks are a high priority but talent, brains and personality are the things that keep you around in this world. In my former materialistic life if you were light skin with pretty hair...you could (and most likely was) be the biggest bitch in the world and still get all the attention. True you got talked about behind your back...by EVERYONE (yes even your friends talk about you)

Disclaimer: THIS IS NOT ABOUT ANYONE IN PARTICULAR JUST A MESH OF MY EXPERINCES

So I deleted poor from my life and my blog. I will no longer reflect on anything negative in my life. I am blessed just to have life. And to have a life where I get to do what I love almost every day. (yes I love being an extra, a stand-in even a production assistant...it may not be my ultimate goal but I am on my way there)

So my advice to all of my readers is eliminate the negative and focus on the positive things you have in life...make a list and reflect on it. I'll start it for you...
1. LIFE (that has to be the most positive thing you have going...you woke up today)
2. You get to read my random rantings (just thought I would throw that in there)

Be blessed readers and Merry Christmas (yes I know it's July...I said I was random pay attention!!)

From Big Mommas House to The Big House

So I am on probation. I have been on probation since Dec 1, 2009 from an incident that happened in 2006. On a very nice night in 2006 I went out with some females (non in which I talk to now) and drank 1 too many peach long islands. During the evening of flirting and dancing with a variety of NBA players...one approached me and had the best pick up line I ever heard. (Are you ready for this?) His words exactly "I wanna fuck the shit out of you" Now I know you are thinking why didn't I just jump on that right then and there which smooth game like that thrown at me. But I needed a little more liquid courage, so I enjoyed more of the peach long islands that seemed to just be flowing from the bar. As the lights of the club came on scattering the patrons like roaches, I still hadn't made my decision on if I was going to climb my new damn near 7 foot friend.( even though I did have the hotel name and room number in my recent text messages).
My girls all had plans of their own for some after club adventures (they were adventures...running over a mail box, arguing with NFL players and groupies in the Intercontinental fun night for all), so they were no help on making the choice whether to bang a random stranger or take my drunk butt home in the ride to my car.

When I finally got to the car, I still had no clue what I was going to do and I was coming down from my long island high. As I turned out of the parking lot where I left my hooptie, I turned to head south towards mid-town and when I live north. After a 5 min drive I decided to turn north and take my non-slutty self home. Which is where the real drama of the night began.

I got off my exit in which I live exactly 1.7 miles from and blew a tire. Being still some what intoxicated and very sleepy I put on my hazards and decided to drive home. BAD DESICION!! I was pulled over promptly and arrested for a DUI (with out a breathalyzer or field sobriety test). I should have just went and banged dude...he did win a championship ring in the last few years maybe I could have went to the playoffs...lol.

If you were paying attention you see the dates are a few years off. I was arrested in 2006 and charged in 2009. That's GA for you. If you read my first blog you see I have name issues. GA spells my name wrong several times. ( which has gotten me arrested because I have alias' which are all MY NAME just spelled wrong) So I got lost in the system. When I finally went to court I just plead to first offenders DUI and got the lowest sentence the judge has ever given. YAY ME! But that still is probation for a year! Which brings us to present time.

My probation officer is the most unorganized woman I have ever met and sadly my life is in her hands. Which is why about 2 weeks after I wrapped Big Mommas House 3 I ended up in the big house. YES, jail!! I spent 7 days in rice street. The same jail TI, Gucci and many other famous felons have called home. Probation put out a warrant saying I missed 2 months but while I was in jail my lovely anger black woman of a mother found out the last time I had a meeting with probation was May 4th and I spoke to her on June 27th which would mean I MISSED NO TIME!!! But as I stated before I have the worst probation officer in the history of the world.

So yes I am FREE!!! After I stood before a judge and he realized the mistake. Which only let me out of jail with an apology and put me back on probation with the same lady for another 6 months.

What I missed while I sat 7 days in jail....2 days of work on my new fav project!, 4 days of work at the regular job I hate, and ECLIPSE!! Which I saw as soon as I got out...well after a shower, real food and a couple hours of sleep in my bed.

More to come on this adventure in my life!