Getting myself together for a photo shoot for new head shots...getting my resume together. And working on finding me an agent....the life of a dreamer working towards something.
I'm just kinda over this whole trying to sell myself thing. I wish for once my talent was enough. Not my looks, my ethnicity, or shape of my body. I really picked the wrong career path if I want to be judged by more.
Recently, I have had the same conversation almost every day. Why are there no black women in Hollywood? Tarji is the only one working now. Where are my brown skin, dark chocolate sisters at? I am not trying to get all Laryn Hill on you. But I have been fired (not fired but bump down to background) from 2 stand-in jobs because I was too dark. I don't want to be a stand-in for the rest of my life. I am waiting for that day when I am first team not second and I know that day is coming.
So will I then be the only brown skin girl working? A lot of times these events make me question who I am.
I am very proud of who I am. The Egyptian side of me gave me the lovely eyes I have. The Black side gave me the wonderful family I have...and the Dominican side gave me the high tolerance (wooohooo shots) lol.
In this industry is exotic sells. So I am marketed as multi-racial. I am black. I am proud. I am proud of everything that I am. But I just wanna be a black girl.
Then again...I have about a pound and a half of 18in of weave sown into my skull.(hair weave done like Europeans). I don't wear contacts...I try to keep the make-up minimal. Just try to enhance my eyes *wink* I refuse to be in the sun. I don't tan and if I do I exfoliate and use skin brighter lotion. I refuse to be darker! So, I have a complex about complexion.
We are taught light is right. Sad thing is all those segregation issues of the past are still present today. The brown paper bag test is still in effect. ( For those who don't know the brown paper bag test was an old Hollywood legend...if you were lighter than the bag you got work as an actress)
And the roles out there for black women are few and far between. And who really wants to play a crack head, a hoe, have a mommy on drugs, a daddy in jail, play the sassy black best friend without a man but knows everything about them. Or work for Tyler Perry. I have yet to work with Mr. Perry and pray the good Lord blesses me with work to continue to keep me away from that man. (But if I need the money I will be an extra in Madea's Big Family Reunion)
Speaking of extra work. I work a lot and I pray I continue to work. I place my life and my dreams in Gods hands and each day he blesses me by placing me a step closer to my dreams. That being said...I am over working for black productions. I have worked as a featured extra on 2 different black sitcoms this year and each one has had pay roll issues. I just want to get paid for my work why do I have to fight you for my money. I work on anything else I get my pay check in 2 to 3 weeks.
Is this why there are not a lot of black people on tv? We don't know how to take care of our own. This breaks my heart. We are so much better than this.
So, maybe it's not "them" holding us back...perhaps it's "us".
We have so many opportunities that so many before us didn't have. My great grandmother Euna Mae Colquitt will be 100 years old on Sept 10 she knew of slavery, of segregation, of fighting for civil rights. She watched her children pick cotton as share croppers to pay for college. Saw her youngest rise to be the vice president of Wachovia. Her history is our history. Her story is our story. We are not just the pimps, hoes, drug dealers, players, athletes, and sassy chicks they show us on tv. Lets show the world we can be more.
We don't need their permission. Let's do it for us, for future generations.
And please lets pay our extras!!
Showing posts with label Bitch is the New Black. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bitch is the New Black. Show all posts
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Why I should play Helena Andrews in Bitch is the New Black
Bitch is the new black for all of you who didn't know...is a book being adapted into a movie. I MUST play the lead role. Not want to play or have a strong desire to play...this role was written for me. Helena Andrews life is mine...if i would have taken a million different roads. Okay, so it's not my life but I see a lot of similarities.
So here is a list of reasons why I should play Helena
For the obvious....1. We both are women, 2. We both are black 3. We are about the same age ( I am an actress I will never put my real age on the Internet I may have to lie in years)
Other not so obvious reasons 4. We both have grand-baby wishing and praying lesbian mothers. (as much as I love my mom I am so over the whole when you gonna get married and have babies question)
Random tidbit...A young lady about the age of 19/20 I met while my probation officer wasn't doing her job actually said to me when I said I don't have any children...."you must not be able to have kids" I said no "I know how to use condoms" I noticed almost every woman I spent my 7 day vaca from the real world with had at least one child. And these chicks were not on a 7 day vaca some were on a 7 year sentence or more...and their kids were left in the world on their own or stuck with some family member. I don't want to bring a child into this world when I am not sure I can be there every minute of every day for them. I am too selfish for a child at this moment in life.
Okay back to the list..what number are we at...okay 5. Helena is a writer who can't spell...ME too! Okay so I am not published. But I have been writing my entire life. I write everything from songs, to poetry, short stories and I have about 20 composition note books full of half finished novels. And I am sure all of them have millions of spelling and grammatical errors. Writing is the one thing everyone has told me to do. From teachers, family, strangers, anyone who reads any of my real work (not blogging lol) says I should write...me I want to ACT! Writing can come later. I can do that at 90.
6.Helena grew up in Compton....or so she says whenever her ghetto or hood membership is called into question. I grew up in North Philly...whenever I need to prove how hard core I am....She moved around quite a bit when she young...including living on a island where it seems the only black people were her and her non conformist mother. She also is a product of private schools and an ivy league education. (which in my opinion should be the new definition of Black not just hood, ghetto, prison and babies...education, families, business owners, authors, Presidents and of course talented actors who don't play slaves, hookers, pimps, strippers, or ghetto baby mommas). Oh now for the comparison...I also went to private school and I am sure if I would have applied to an ivy league school I could have gone but we all know me...I chose to go on tour with Nsync instead of going directly to college.
7. Helena was a professional cheerleader...I auditioned and made the Hawks dance team...work for the Hawks for years. But no I was not a professional cheerleader. Yes, I made the team...I chose not to be a part of it. I chose instead to go on tour...I did that a lot in life. But I did work with the team and did actually do some choreography back in the day before they were the "A-Town" Dancers.
8.Did I already say we both were women...what about we both are black...OK! I got I am an actress. It's my job to play parts. I have taken many classes and continue to hone my craft. I have played many different parts. But recently because of my damn good genes and cocoa and shea butter...I always play teens or college age. Which I am not at all complaining about. This would be a chance to play (close to) my own age.
9. The movie is being produced by Shonda Rhimes. A black woman! She is success in the industry already with Greys Anatomy and Private Practice. She is an inspiration for me and should be for any woman (black, white, green, yellow, and purple) trying to make it in this very male dominated industry. I would be honored to just work with her and would try to learn EVERYTHING I could from her. Just to have a conversation with her I know I would learn so much and be one step close to my dream of starting a successful production company.
10.( I think I need 10...a list needs to even and rounded) So this one will be a weird one. As a child Helena had strange relationship with numbers. They played out a soap opera in her imagination. This is something I never really shared because I thought it made me a dork. The reason I was so good at math in school is because of my relationship with numbers. They had characters, roles they played in each others life. All this went on in my imagination. When I read that she had a similar imagination I didn't feel so much like a dork. (which I know I am)
I NEED TO PLAY HELENA ANDREWS (or the character they come up with when the finish the screen play names may change) IN BITCH IS THE NEW BLACK.
And YOU, my readers, need to read Bitch is the new black and come up with a list of your own why I should play Helena Andrews...(or just read the book)
ATLANTA READERS...Helena Andrews will be at Charis Books on WED July 14th at 7:30pm. Meet me there and get your book signed...and tell her I should be in the movie!
So here is a list of reasons why I should play Helena
For the obvious....1. We both are women, 2. We both are black 3. We are about the same age ( I am an actress I will never put my real age on the Internet I may have to lie in years)
Other not so obvious reasons 4. We both have grand-baby wishing and praying lesbian mothers. (as much as I love my mom I am so over the whole when you gonna get married and have babies question)
Random tidbit...A young lady about the age of 19/20 I met while my probation officer wasn't doing her job actually said to me when I said I don't have any children...."you must not be able to have kids" I said no "I know how to use condoms" I noticed almost every woman I spent my 7 day vaca from the real world with had at least one child. And these chicks were not on a 7 day vaca some were on a 7 year sentence or more...and their kids were left in the world on their own or stuck with some family member. I don't want to bring a child into this world when I am not sure I can be there every minute of every day for them. I am too selfish for a child at this moment in life.
Okay back to the list..what number are we at...okay 5. Helena is a writer who can't spell...ME too! Okay so I am not published. But I have been writing my entire life. I write everything from songs, to poetry, short stories and I have about 20 composition note books full of half finished novels. And I am sure all of them have millions of spelling and grammatical errors. Writing is the one thing everyone has told me to do. From teachers, family, strangers, anyone who reads any of my real work (not blogging lol) says I should write...me I want to ACT! Writing can come later. I can do that at 90.
6.Helena grew up in Compton....or so she says whenever her ghetto or hood membership is called into question. I grew up in North Philly...whenever I need to prove how hard core I am....She moved around quite a bit when she young...including living on a island where it seems the only black people were her and her non conformist mother. She also is a product of private schools and an ivy league education. (which in my opinion should be the new definition of Black not just hood, ghetto, prison and babies...education, families, business owners, authors, Presidents and of course talented actors who don't play slaves, hookers, pimps, strippers, or ghetto baby mommas). Oh now for the comparison...I also went to private school and I am sure if I would have applied to an ivy league school I could have gone but we all know me...I chose to go on tour with Nsync instead of going directly to college.
7. Helena was a professional cheerleader...I auditioned and made the Hawks dance team...work for the Hawks for years. But no I was not a professional cheerleader. Yes, I made the team...I chose not to be a part of it. I chose instead to go on tour...I did that a lot in life. But I did work with the team and did actually do some choreography back in the day before they were the "A-Town" Dancers.
8.Did I already say we both were women...what about we both are black...OK! I got I am an actress. It's my job to play parts. I have taken many classes and continue to hone my craft. I have played many different parts. But recently because of my damn good genes and cocoa and shea butter...I always play teens or college age. Which I am not at all complaining about. This would be a chance to play (close to) my own age.
9. The movie is being produced by Shonda Rhimes. A black woman! She is success in the industry already with Greys Anatomy and Private Practice. She is an inspiration for me and should be for any woman (black, white, green, yellow, and purple) trying to make it in this very male dominated industry. I would be honored to just work with her and would try to learn EVERYTHING I could from her. Just to have a conversation with her I know I would learn so much and be one step close to my dream of starting a successful production company.
10.( I think I need 10...a list needs to even and rounded) So this one will be a weird one. As a child Helena had strange relationship with numbers. They played out a soap opera in her imagination. This is something I never really shared because I thought it made me a dork. The reason I was so good at math in school is because of my relationship with numbers. They had characters, roles they played in each others life. All this went on in my imagination. When I read that she had a similar imagination I didn't feel so much like a dork. (which I know I am)
I NEED TO PLAY HELENA ANDREWS (or the character they come up with when the finish the screen play names may change) IN BITCH IS THE NEW BLACK.
And YOU, my readers, need to read Bitch is the new black and come up with a list of your own why I should play Helena Andrews...(or just read the book)
ATLANTA READERS...Helena Andrews will be at Charis Books on WED July 14th at 7:30pm. Meet me there and get your book signed...and tell her I should be in the movie!
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